Happy 1 Month Merrick!
I cannot believe it has already been 1 month! In some ways....I can however believe it:) What a MONTH! Challenging, physically drained, emotionally drained, sleep deprived, starving for normality, stressed, at my "wits" end, all these feelings in this past month. And today, 4 weeks later, I get to see this. A smile. Not just one, or two, but several. My heart melted, and a sigh of relief came over me. I CAN do this. We have decided to transition to formula. Yes. There, I said it, F-O-R-M-U-L-A. It was beginning to be too much for me & starting to really affect our family cohesiveness. I wrestled over and over with this decision. And I did NOT come by it lightly. I prayed, pondered, and decided. And I think that is enough said. These past few days, I have been closer than ever back to my "bubbly" Brynn self. I had to keep telling myself, these things: I CAN be awoken by a screaming toddler and spend part of the night calming him back down, I CAN nurture a sick child, I CAN give all the hugs & kisses a mom can give, I CAN change poopy diapers by not one, but TWO children, I CAN make breakfast, lunch & dinner, I CAN do laundry, I CAN put them to bed, I CAN teach them to say their prayers and read their scriptures, I CAN manage to somehow keep a SEMI-clean home, I CAN play with my kids, I CAN laugh, I CAN cry, but I CANNOT nurse. And, I'm okay with that, because I CAN be a good Mom. So today, when Merrick smiled, I smiled too, for what seemed to be something rather foreign or not in my nature as of lately. Thank you, Merrick. For reminding me about the simple joys, and for teaching me to love being a mommy once again.
Love You! Happy 1 Month!
